What I Gotta Do To Blow Up?

We all know the entertainment industry is very tough to break into. You have to work so hard and then when you’ve worked as hard as you can, you gotta work some more. Comics are always trying to figure out ways to stand out from the pack. We all strive to develop that amazing bit, or voice, or impersonation that will make us memorable!

Then when you witness another comic have that amazing moment where they create something that people will always remember them for, you say to yourself “how come I didn’t think of that first?”. That’s how I felt when I read this article about a female comic in NYC who got hit by a train and survived! How come I didn’t think of that first?

Her career is about to skyrocket. She’s getting support from dozens of established comics and everyone knows who she is now. That could be me lying in that hospital bed with Aziz Ansari and Chelsea Peretti sending me money! I could have easily tripped in front of a D train a long time ago, but I didn’t think of it first so now the opportunity is gone. Nobody cares about the SECOND comic to get hit by a train. You gotta be the first or you don’t matter. So now I gotta think of something else. I gotta figure out how to one-up her. Idk, maybe I need to get abducted by aliens or at least stage an attack with a pack of monkeys from the Bronx Zoo. I’ll work on the plan and figure it out.

In all seriousness, I don’t actually wish I got hit by a train. I actually do value my life and wouldn’t risk it doing something crazy to gain some fame. Definitely not saying this was a publicity stunt pulled by the comic, Liza Dye. Just a terrible accident and she’s very fortunate to be alive. Also wanna put it out there that I don’t believe in any way that any advances in her career will be the sole result of this freak accident. I understand she works hard just like anyone else has to in order to make it in this game. Good luck Liza! And may you have a great recovery!